Mule Jokes
| A donkey is a donkey, A horse is a horse, And a mule is half donkey, half horse (of course). |
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| Calvary Mule Day |
November 6, 2010
Calvary, Georgia
Sponsored By
| Calvary Lions Club calvarylions@windstream.net |
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Mules are the backbone of this country and that is why we celebrate the Mule on Mule Day. Many families would have
starved if it had not been for a mule to help clear the fields and then to plow them. Mules are often thought of as stubborn,
while the truth be known they're not being stubborn they are very smart. It is a mules sense of self preservation and
intelligence that has come to label them as stubborn. A mule will not eat more than it needs, nor will a mule put him or her
self in danger. Mules are often the brunt of jokes, we would rather share some "Mule jokes" where the mule isn't the brunt
of the joke. Hope you enjoy........
If you have a favorite you can share with us at info@calvarylionsmuleday.com
starved if it had not been for a mule to help clear the fields and then to plow them. Mules are often thought of as stubborn,
while the truth be known they're not being stubborn they are very smart. It is a mules sense of self preservation and
intelligence that has come to label them as stubborn. A mule will not eat more than it needs, nor will a mule put him or her
self in danger. Mules are often the brunt of jokes, we would rather share some "Mule jokes" where the mule isn't the brunt
of the joke. Hope you enjoy........
If you have a favorite you can share with us at info@calvarylionsmuleday.com
A minister went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He telephoned
the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the minister to the Health Department. They
explained, "Since there was no health threat, you'll need to call the Sanitation Department." When the minister called the
Sanitation Department, the Manager of the Sanitation Department said, "I can't pick up that dead mule without
authorization from the mayor." The minister was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a very bad temper
and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with, but, eventually, he called the mayor anyway. The mayor did
not disappoint the minister. The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at the minister, the
mayor finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The minister paused for a brief
prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his response. The Lord led him to the words he was seeking, "WELL Yes, Mayor, it
IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin first!"
the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the minister to the Health Department. They
explained, "Since there was no health threat, you'll need to call the Sanitation Department." When the minister called the
Sanitation Department, the Manager of the Sanitation Department said, "I can't pick up that dead mule without
authorization from the mayor." The minister was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a very bad temper
and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with, but, eventually, he called the mayor anyway. The mayor did
not disappoint the minister. The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at the minister, the
mayor finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The minister paused for a brief
prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his response. The Lord led him to the words he was seeking, "WELL Yes, Mayor, it
IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin first!"
There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by their boss to put the mule in the barn.
When they led the mule over to the barn, they decided that the mule's ears were to long and he would not fit into the
barn. So they put their heads together and decided to get a ladder and a saw and saw the overhead of the barn out so
the mule could walk right on in the barn.
They began their job and the boss walked over to them and asked them why they were sawing out the top of the barn.
When they told him the mule's ears were too long to go into the barn, the boss said:
"Why don't you just get a shovel and dig the dirt out of the ground below, then the mule could walk on in"
The two half smarts looked at each other and said "We told you his "ears" are too long, not his feet !
When they led the mule over to the barn, they decided that the mule's ears were to long and he would not fit into the
barn. So they put their heads together and decided to get a ladder and a saw and saw the overhead of the barn out so
the mule could walk right on in the barn.
They began their job and the boss walked over to them and asked them why they were sawing out the top of the barn.
When they told him the mule's ears were too long to go into the barn, the boss said:
"Why don't you just get a shovel and dig the dirt out of the ground below, then the mule could walk on in"
The two half smarts looked at each other and said "We told you his "ears" are too long, not his feet !
A car drives up to a farmer's house, a man gets out, knocks on the door, and the farmer opens it. "A friend told me you
have a mule that points quail", said the stranger, "is that true"?? "Sure is", said the farmer, "would you like to see him
work?" The strangers said, "Sure". Soon they were walking through a field, when the mule suddenly stopped and struck a
beautiful point. The farmer walks ahead of the mule and scares up a big covey of quail. This goes on a half dozen more
times...the mule points...the farmer scares up the covey. Finally, the stranger says, "That's enough, I've got to have that
mule". "He ain't for sale", said the farmer. I'll give you $50,000.00 for him", said the stranger. Well, the farmer couldn't
refuse such a big offer, so he sold him. The next night, the farmer's phone rang...it was the stranger. "What the heck's
wrong with this darned mule you sold me?", he screamed..."all he's done all day is stand belly deep in my pond"!!
"Well", said the farmer, "I guess I should'a told you......he'd rather fish than hunt."
have a mule that points quail", said the stranger, "is that true"?? "Sure is", said the farmer, "would you like to see him
work?" The strangers said, "Sure". Soon they were walking through a field, when the mule suddenly stopped and struck a
beautiful point. The farmer walks ahead of the mule and scares up a big covey of quail. This goes on a half dozen more
times...the mule points...the farmer scares up the covey. Finally, the stranger says, "That's enough, I've got to have that
mule". "He ain't for sale", said the farmer. I'll give you $50,000.00 for him", said the stranger. Well, the farmer couldn't
refuse such a big offer, so he sold him. The next night, the farmer's phone rang...it was the stranger. "What the heck's
wrong with this darned mule you sold me?", he screamed..."all he's done all day is stand belly deep in my pond"!!
"Well", said the farmer, "I guess I should'a told you......he'd rather fish than hunt."
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The
farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic
relationship.
To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life
unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly!
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by.
The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say
something.
Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.'
The men would ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'
farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic
relationship.
To no avail, she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life
unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the
head, killing her instantly!
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by.
The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say
something.
Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.'
The men would ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'
A Georgia farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy
was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the
17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son
got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove home.
was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty
of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the
17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son
got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and
drove home.